6. In relationships.
One day, you will experience the agony and the ecstasy of meeting the Hot Dude of Your Dreams who is only so happy to talk to you for a deceptively long amount of time, look meaningfully into your eyes, and connect with you on some spiritual astral plane tantric sex level, only to casually slip into the conversation something about their beloved girlfriend as though it wasn’t the verbal equivalent of shooting you with a sawed-off shotgun at point-blank range and then urinating on your steaming corpse. And that will be the worst day of your incurably thirsty life.
What came first—the music or the misery? Did I listen to music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to music?
We also have plenty of memes built around silly white people. We have Kai, Corey, Kristen Bell crying about sloths, and Jennifer Lawrence’s universally adored red carpet gaffes, which we desperately hope are genuine and not the result of calculated media training that has begun to recognize the generational yearn for authenticity among our celebs. We love Honey Boo Boo because she says the darnedest things—not because she’s poor, or because she has an underdeveloped intellect, but because she operates outside the stifling self-censorship that afflicts most media-addled humans. She’s not trying to perform; she’s simply in possession of an enviable and infectious comfort in her own skin.
We just twirl and dance!